Tag: awareness

Train Your Brain to Stop Overthinking

October 15, 2023 / Gael MacLean

Metaphysical illustration of a brain wired to gears representing overthinking.

The Problem of Overthinking

As the digital age developed, it felt like I had discovered a kindred spirit. The boundless horizons of the online realm seemed to echo a deep, ever-growing curiosity I held within. Even as I lost myself in the intricacies of digital tech, there was a pull — from the mysterious realms of the metaphysical. Realms not made up of words or thoughts—not information-based. Whether I was exploring the wonders of New Age or immersed in the profound teachings of Buddhism, I yearned to find a bridge between these two worlds, each so different yet both close to my heart.

The challenge I faced? Articulating the elusive metaphysical realm in terms relatable to our everyday lives. My most profound realization throughout this exploration was that our thoughts, pervasive as they might be, aren’t always genuine reflections of reality. Often, they obscure our vision of our true selves, acting as hurdles on our quest for self-discovery. So, what really is the nature of overthinking? How can we align with our truest selves and reconnect with our core essence?

“The more you overthink the less you will understand.”
Habeeb Akande

Overthinking is like being stuck on a hamster wheel, always moving but never advancing. Though it may seem like we’re problem-solving, we often get lost in worries, fears, or societal pressures. Sometimes, it’s because we’re afraid of failing or being judged. Other times, past hurts still haunt us or we’re feeling the pressure from society to be perfect. It’s tricky because while it seems productive, it often keeps us from making real progress.

Signs and Symptoms of Overthinking

Constant Worrying — Besieged by persistent what if? scenarios about past or future events.

Analysis Paralysis — An inability to take action due to excessive deliberation.

Self-criticism — Continually finding fault in one’s actions or decisions, however minor they may be.

Regretting Past Decisions — Reliving past choices and wondering how things might have been different.

Difficulty Sleeping — Restless mind keeps us awake when stuck in revisiting the day’s events or anticipating future challenges.

Perpetual Fatigue — Mental exhaustion stemming from constant thinking can lead to persistent tiredness.

Indecisiveness — Struggling to make decisions, especially simple ones, due to the fear of potential repercussions.

Feeling Stuck — A sensation of no progress being made, regardless of the time and effort invested in thinking about a situation.

Compulsive Checking Behaviors — Frequently revisiting conversations, messages, or emails, scrutinizing them for perceived errors or alternate meanings.

Physical Symptoms — Such as headaches or stomachaches, which can sometimes be a result of stress caused by chronic overthinking.

Noticing these signs is like pausing to check in with ourselves, Hey, how am I really doing? By careful analysis to understand what’s truly going on beneath the surface, instead of just slapping a band-aid on the obvious issues, we can begin to create a calmer, clearer way of thinking and living. It’s about understanding ourselves better and taking steps that really count towards our well-being.

“I realized I have the power to choose whether I want to run my emotional circuitry (what I call my right brain) or my thinking circuitry (what I call my left brain)” Neuroanatomist
Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor

The Difference Between Left Brain vs Right Brain Thinking

Our brain has two sides — the logical left and the creative right. The left side is a detail-oriented project manager, providing structure and logic, while the right is the imaginative brainstormer, offering creativity and intuition, To thrive, we need both. Activities like doodling ignite our creativity, while puzzles sharpen logic. Dancing requires both rhythm — left-brained, and expression — right-brained. By utilizing both sides, we ensure a more balanced approach to our daily challenges and joys.

How our brains operate is rooted in real science, but sometimes, the way we talk about it makes it sound more like a fun myth than neuroscience. While it’s an oversimplification to say we’re either left-brained or right-brained,there’s no denying that understanding these aspects of ourselves can offer insights into our behavior and preferences.

Left Brain Characteristics

Analytical Thinking — Prefers approaching problems step by step, breaking them down into smaller components.

Logical Reasoning — Uses systematic methods to draw conclusions and make decisions.

Linear Processing — Processes information in a sequence, moving from one point to the next.

Language Skills — Associated with language processing, including grammar and vocabulary.

Right Brain Characteristics

Holistic Thinking — Looks at problems and situations as a whole, preferring to connect disparate pieces of information.

Intuitive Reasoning — Relies more on feelings and gut reactions than detailed analysis.

Spatial Abilities — Good at visualizing objects or scenarios and understanding how they fit into a broader context.

Creative Expression — Often linked with artistic endeavors, such as music, painting, and dance.

Right/Left Brain Examples in Society

Education — While traditional classrooms often focus on rote learning and ticking boxes, catering to left-brain activities, progressive teaching methods now blend in music, art, and imaginative play. Solving a math problem through a creative story or visual representation showcases the harmony of using both sides of the brain. This approach nurtures creativity and holistic growth beyond just memorization.

Workplace — In workplaces, some roles like accounting demand precision and logic, tapping into our left-brain skills. Programming, especially during the software design stage and algorithm creation, requires a harmony of both—analytical prowess for structuring code and creativity for innovative solutions. Fields like graphic design and music predominantly cater to our right-brain, valuing imagination, creativity, and the broader vision.

Culture & Media — Analytical talk shows and documentaries attract left-brained individuals with their structured arguments and detailed facts. Music festivals and abstract art exhibitions captivate right-brained individuals. A film that intricately blends a factual narrative with abstract symbolism showcases the seamless interplay of both sides of the brain, appealing to a broader spectrum of viewers and evoking a richer emotional response.

“Logic will get you from A to B. Imagination will take you everywhere.”
Albert Einstein

Metaphysical illustration of a woman's brain filled with artificial thoughts.

Are Thoughts Real? Understanding the Nature of Thoughts

Where do our thoughts come from and how do they connect to the world around us? For ages, deep thinkers—philosophers, scientists, and wise spiritual leaders, have been captivated by these very questions. Many of us, in quiet moments or during restless nights, wrestle with the puzzle of teasing apart what’s truly real from those ephemeral, ghost-like images dancing across our minds. Examining the nature of our thoughts is a path to understanding what ties us all together—a shared curiosity about the mysteries of the mind.

“The eye sees only what the mind is prepared to comprehend.”
Henri Bergson

What is a Thought?

What exactly is a thought? At its heart, a thought is like a story or image we create in our minds. While a physical sensation, like feeling cold or hot, directly interacts with our bodies, feelings are our emotional responses to these sensations or events. Thoughts are based on our memories, insights, worries, or hopes for the future. Everything, from a song we hear to a scent we recognize, can trigger these thoughts. Each thought is a reflection, sometimes crystal clear and sometimes a bit hazy, of our experiences, beliefs, feelings, and even the very space we’re in.

Thoughts vs. Reality

The distinction between thoughts and reality is vital to our mental health and understanding of the world. For instance, one might have a thought like Nobody likes me based on an isolated incident, but this doesn’t make it an objective truth. Consider another example — if you watch a terrifying movie about sharks and later find yourself hesitating to swim in a pool, it’s not the actual threat of sharks that scares you, but the residual thought or emotion from the movie. I never went into the ocean again after seeing “Jaws.”

The Dalai Lama once said,

“Remember that sometimes not getting what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck.”

This speaks to the idea that our thoughts and desires, while potent, don’t always align with what’s best for us in reality. Just because we think we want something doesn’t mean it’s the best thing for us.

In stressful situations, it’s common for people to jump to the worst-case scenario in their minds, even if the actual likelihood of that event is low. For example, forgetting to send an important email might trigger thoughts like I’m going to get fired, but in reality, mistakes happen, and most can be rectified.

Mindfulness meditation offers a gentle invitation to observe our thoughts without criticism, acknowledging their transient nature. Through this nurturing practice, we come to understand that we are not defined by our thoughts. We are the compassionate observer, noticing the ebb and flow of our thoughts and recognizing they don’t always hold the absolute truth.Instead our conception of reality is based on how we experience the world, not what we think of it.

As meditation expert Jon Kabat-Zinn put it,

“You can’t stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.”

Unless you saw “Jaws.”

Eckart Tolle has this to say about thinking,

“The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but your thoughts about it.”

While thoughts have the power to influence our emotions, decisions, and actions, they are not an undeniable reflection of reality. Recognizing the transitory and sometimes deceptive nature of thoughts is vital to understanding that not every thought that pops up is a direct ticket to the truth.

Some are like those clouds momentarily blocking the sun, while others are mere daydreams or old tales we tell ourselves. By understanding how our thoughts can be tricksters, we give ourselves the freedom to breathe, stay rooted in the present, and live a more joyful, balanced life. You are not your thoughts.

“A thought is harmless unless we believe it. It’s not our thoughts, but our attachment to our thoughts, that causes suffering.”
Byron Katie

Roads representing neural pathways in the brain.

Where Do Thoughts Come From? The Science Behind Thought Generation

Our minds are truly intriguing. One moment, we’re deep in a childhood memory, and the next, we’re replaying a tune from last week. But where do these thoughts come from? Why do certain ideas just stick, while others fade away? Understanding the birth and progression of our thoughts can offer insight into our own behaviors and feelings. How do our thoughts originate and evolve?

The Neural Pathways and Thought Generation

Wei-Chung Allen Lee of Harvard Medical School leads the research on how these neurons connect,

“The brain is structured so that each neuron is connected to thousands of other neurons, and so to understand what a single neuron is doing, ideally you study it within the context of the rest of the neural network.”

Check out the link to Lee’s article below for a more extensive explanation, but let me give you a snapshot—think of our brain as a bustling city, with neurons as its inhabitants. These neurons communicate via bridges known as synapses. Lee highlights this in the emerging field of study, referring to them as connectomics. Just like paths form in a park based on where people frequently walk, our experiences shape these neural pathways.

When you learn something new or think about a past memory, your brain pathways light up. They’re influenced by what we focus on and what quietly plays out in our subconscious. It’s the dynamic interplay of these countless neural conversations that continuously form our stream of consciousness, giving rise to thoughts, memories, and feelings.

Conditioned Responses

Pavlov’s experiments with dogs provide a clear example of conditioned responses. He demonstrated that when a bell was repeatedly paired with food, the dogs began to salivate at the sound of the bell, expecting food. In a similar vein, if you were bitten by a dog as a child, later encounters with a dog might trigger feelings of anxiety or fear. These reactions stem from conditioned neural pathways formed by previous experiences.

Repetition and Reinforcement

The first few times you drive to a new place, you’re highly attentive, but after several repetitions, you can almost drive there on autopilot. This is due to the reinforcement of a particular neural pathway. The same applies to thoughts. The more frequently you engage with a specific thought, the stronger that neural pathway becomes, making the thought more easily accessible and dominant in your mind.

External Stimuli

The simplest things, like the scent of a particular perfume, can whisk us back in time, maybe to a moment we shared with someone special. Or the gentle patter of raindrops can suddenly make us recall a cozy vacation cabin we once stayed in years ago. These stimuli wake up parts of our brain connecting today’s experience with past moments, making our world feel interconnected and brimming with stories.

Emotional States

Our emotions act like a filter for our memories and thoughts. When we’re having a down day, our mind plays a reel of all those other times we felt the same way, pulling up memories tinted with sadness. On the other hand, when we’re on top of the world, our brain becomes this highlight reel of all the good times. It’s as though our heart sets the mood, and our mind crafts the playlist, echoing our current feelings with memories of similar emotions from the past.

Subconscious Processing

Many scientists, especially those in the fields of psychology and neuroscience, have studied the significance of dreams. Our dreams provide insight into our subconscious, weaving tales from memories, emotions, and hopes. It’s fascinating how they can create scenarios from fragments of events, wishes, and fears. Reflecting on them can reveal our deep desires and feelings, allowing us to connect more profoundly with our innermost self.

“Dreaming provides a unique suite of benefits to all species fortunate enough to experience it, humans included. Among these gifts are a consoling neurochemical bath that mollifies painful memories and a virtual reality space in which the brain melds past and present knowledge, inspiring creativity.”
Matthew Walker, neuroscientist and author of “Why We Sleep”

Taking Charge of Our Thoughts

Navigating our thought patterns can be transformative in shaping our mindset. When we consistently lean into positive thoughts, it’s akin to treading a familiar mental path, making it more instinctive with each journey. Conversely, by confronting and questioning negative or unproductive thoughts, we begin to let that path grow over, visiting it less often.

It’s essential to strike a balance—while nurturing positive thoughts can uplift us, detaching from them occasionally reminds us that they, just like their negative counterparts, are impermanent and not always rooted in reality. Recognizing this can help us maintain a grounded perspective, ensuring we don’t get overly attached to any single thought pattern.

A woman's head in chains represents someone controlled by their thoughts, although the chains are an illusion.

The Dangers of Being Controlled by Your Thoughts

Understanding our thoughts can greatly influence how we shape our thinking. When we consistently think positively, it becomes a familiar process, making it easier to foster such thoughts in the future. However, constantly dwelling on negative thoughts can hinder our progress and decision-making. It’s essential to be cautious.

While over-indulgence in negative thinking can paralyze us, being overly positive might prevent us from seeing the full spectrum of our choices. To function effectively, it’s beneficial to strike a balance—be hopeful but remain open to all possibilities. We have a saying in the backcountry where life can be challenging—Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst.

Anxiety and Overthinking

Replaying worrisome moments in our heads can become burdensome. It’s like watching the same cringe-worthy movie scene on repeat. If after a gathering, you’re stuck on something you said, it might make you anxious about future meet-ups. Over time, such overthinking can diminish our peace of mind, pulling us away from the present joys amd meaningful relationships.

Impaired Decision Making

Relying solely on momentary emotions to dictate our choices can sometimes backfire. We can make impulsive purchases when we’re particularly hungry or emotional, only to later wonder if it was the right decision. During the COVID lockdown, the immediate loneliness many felt led to a surge in pet adoptions. But as life started returning to its usual pace, the permanent responsibility of pet ownership hit home, leading to many animals being returned. This underscores the importance of pausing and considering the long-term implications of our actions, distinguishing between genuine feelings and fleeting thoughts.

Strained Relationships

You’re having an off day, and those familiar insecurities begin to lurk. You text a friend—they don’t reply instantly. It’s tempting to think, They’re upset with me. But perhaps they’re just busy or distracted. Acting on these hasty assumptions can lead to needless tension. Our thoughts don’t always accurately depict others’ intentions. A pause and some perspective can save many a friendship from unintended rifts.

Stagnation and Missed Opportunities

You dream of opening a café, with its warm atmosphere and aroma of coffee. Yet, a voice whispers, What if I fail? Such doubts, while meant to protect, can sometimes hold us back. Yielding to these fears keeps us in our comfort zones, where dreams might stall. By recognizing but not surrendering to these doubts, we invite endless possibilities and adventures into our lives.

Decline in Mental and Physical Health

Persistent stress from over-thinking affects not just our minds but our bodies. It can cause headaches and digestive issues, and weaken our immune system. Extended periods of stress may lead to conditions like depression or heart problems, underscoring the deep link between mental and physical well-being. Change happens in the mind first.

Distorted Reality Perception

Ever had a day where everything seems against you? A spilled coffee, an unsent email, or a perceived odd look from a coworker can tint our perspective, making innocent events feel threatening. At a gathering, you might spot friends whispering and think, Are they talking about me? when they’re just discussing shoes. These patterns can make the world feel hostile, leading to misunderstandings with loved ones. Recognizing and challenging these thoughts helps us see the world more clearly and fairly.

Reduced Self-esteem and Self-worth

The consistent hum of self-doubt in our heads can erode our confidence, making us feel unworthy or inadequate. This negative self-talk isn’t just a mental burden—it’s tied to real challenges we face, from deep insecurities to body image issues. Everyone has their battles, and it’s vital to seek help when needed. Catching these thoughts early is key. Whether it’s through meditation, journaling, or therapy, understanding and redirecting our thoughts helps us lead fulfilling lives on our terms.

“Negative self-talk diminishes us, limits us, and can even become a self-fulfilling prophecy.”
Melody Beattie

Metaphysical sketch of man weight training with thoughts.

How to Train Your Brain to Stop Overthinking

Overthinking is like a treadmill—your mind races, but you’re stuck in place. It’s exhausting to exert energy without making progress. Just as we change our workouts for better results, we can train our mind to move past this cycle. By strengthening our mental muscles and using the right strategies, we can guide our thoughts toward a more balanced and healthier direction.

Set Aside “Thinking Time”

Allocate a specific period in your day, say 20 minutes, solely for reflection and introspection. Use this time to process events, plan ahead, or ponder decisions. For instance, if you’re unsure about a decision at work, use this window to weigh pros and cons. Outside of this timeframe, consciously redirect your mind when you catch it drifting into overthinking.

The “Not Now” Technique

Whenever you find yourself beginning to overthink outside your designated thinking time, mentally tell yourself Not now. Softly, without judgment. It’s a simple way of acknowledging the thought without engaging in it. I also find it helpful to say You are not real when my thoughts start shaping my reality.

Journaling or Writing

Putting pen to paper can be really helpful. It’s a simple way to sort out how you feel. If you’re nervous or anxious about something, writing it down can help you pinpoint why. Sharing your thoughts, whether they’re in the form of a real-life story, fiction, or a poem, on platforms like Medium can also be a way to work through things. It’s all about what feels right for you.

Mindfulness and Meditation

Meditation and mindfulness go beyond being just trendy terms—they serve as compasses to navigate our mind’s incessant noise. Integrating them into our daily routines allows us to become more attuned to our internal dialogues. Mindfulness meditation, in particular, encourages us to observe our thoughts without labeling them as good or bad.

By focusing on the breath or bodily sensations, we learn to recognize our thoughts without getting lost in them or assigning value. This is the heart of mindfulness meditation. With time and practice, this approach can help mitigate the intensity and frequency of overthinking episodes.

Challenge Your Thoughts

Ask yourself if the thought you’re stuck on is realistic. For example, if you’re obsessing over a mistake, ask yourself Will this matter in five years? I often ask myself, How important will this be after I’m dead? Not many thoughts get any points these days. Often we blow things out of proportion, and challenging our thoughts can help us see situations more objectively.

Set Clear Boundaries

Ever been scrolling on social media and a post suddenly has you second-guessing yourself? It’s a fast slide into comparisons and self-doubt. Combat this by pinpointing what triggers your overthinking online. Maybe some accounts need an unfollow. Prioritize creating a digital space that uplifts rather than drags you down. Your peace of mind is invaluable.

Physical Activity

A good walk or a yoga session can clear your head. That’s because moving our bodies isn’t just good for our muscles — it’s a balm for the mind too. Yoga offers the added benefits of improving flexibility, enhancing breath control, and promoting a deeper connection between mind and body.

Getting active, whether it’s diving into a yoga sequence or simply taking a stroll around the block, gives our minds a break from the constant chatter. Plus, there’s the bonus of feel-good endorphins that come with exercise, helping those worries to fade and lifting our spirits.

Talk It Out

Got a thought that won’t leave you alone? Sometimes, just talking it out helps. Voicing your thoughts can be like airing out a stuffy room. A trusted friend might offer a new perspective or simply listen, letting you process. Often, just having someone say, I hear you, makes all the difference. A listening ear can be a game-changer against overthinking.

Cognitive-Behavioral Techniques to Manage Thoughts

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is a toolkit for your mind. It helps us challenge unhelpful thoughts. Worried about a presentation and think, I’ll mess up? Instead of spiraling into that thought, CBT teaches you to stop and ask yourself, What’s the evidence for this? Have I done this before and succeeded? When you start looking closer, you might find there’s little to no proof backing up your fear. It’s about facing challenges with clarity and confidence.

The Power of Positive Affirmations

Affirmations are tools for reshaping our mindset. Instead of Everything will be perfect, saying I can handle challenges is more empowering and realistic. They’re not about avoiding thoughts but steering them gently. With consistent effort and practice, it’s possible to guide your brain towards more constructive and positive thought patterns, ensuring overthinking doesn’t rob you of the joy and peace of the present moment.

Be in the Present Moment

Being free from overthinking is like soaking in a sunset without dissecting the science behind it. It’s savoring a dish or feeling a song without analyzing every detail. It’s living in the moment, without pausing to predict the next.It’s about simply being present and letting go of those incessant thoughts.

Tap into Spontaneous Joy

Life is a river with moments of pure joy. Overthinking is the debris blocking its flow. When we’re trapped in our thoughts, we miss life’s spontaneous beauty. By being present and clearing our mind, we appreciate life’s richness. It’s about balancing deep introspection with living in the moment, savoring the magic life offers. What do you hear as you walk through the forest? Your thoughts or the sounds of life?

Reveling in Life’s Simplicities

Life’s deepest joys are in simple moments, like a child’s laughter or a peaceful morning. Often missed in our busy lives, these moments are pure happiness. When not lost in overthinking, we open ourselves to these experiences, connecting deeper with the world. We look out and see the beauty of the world rather than get stuck in a myopic vision of unrealistic thoughts.

Strengthening Connections

Genuine relationships thrive when we’re present. By setting aside overthinking, we deeply connect and listen to others. Instead of analyzing every word or gesture, we can cherish shared moments. We can accept people for who they are without judgment and see ourselves with the same compassion. It’s less about the noise in our heads, and more about feeling the heartbeats of those we’re with.

Empowering Decision-Making

When we let go of the constant chatter of overthinking, making choices becomes so much clearer. We’re no longer bogged down by the what ifs or the exhaustive list of pros and cons. Instead, we lean into our gut feelings and our past experiences, giving us the confidence to take decisive steps forward. It’s like finally seeing a clear path after being lost in a thick fog of thoughts for so long.

Cultivating Peace

Inner peace often eludes the chronic overthinker. By managing overthinking, we find stillness amidst life’s noise. This quiet allows clarity and contentment to emerge. Being present, rather than lost in thought, we often discover what truly matters, seeing things more clearly and feeling genuinely at peace with ourselves and the world.

Gratitude Practice

Gratitude is like a warm embrace for our minds, especially when overthinking starts to take hold. By pausing to cherish the good moments and simple joys, we root ourselves firmly in the present and surround our minds with feelings of contentment. Making it a habit to recognize and share our thankfulness helps us shift from focusing on what we might be lacking or worrying about, to celebrating the many blessings we already have. This gentle shift doesn’t just ease overthinking—it also enriches our emotional well-being, making us feel more connected and content.

In Service

Service to others acts as a powerful antidote to overthinking. When we direct our energies toward helping someone else, we shift our focus outward, diverting attention from our own obsessive ruminations. Engaging in acts of kindness and service provides a sense of purpose, grounding us in tangible actions with clear benefits. This outward focus not only alleviates our tendency to overanalyze but also fosters feelings of connection and fulfillment, reinforcing the idea that our thoughts don’t have to control our actions or dictate our well-being.

“When we give cheerfully and accept gratefully, everyone is blessed.”
Maya Angelou

An ancient drawing of a balanced metaphysical world.

Final Thoughts

Our minds can be a maze at times, but we hold the map. By getting to know what makes us overthink and finding ways to get off the hamster wheel of thoughts, we can truly feel and enjoy every little moment life offers. It’s not just about turning down the volume of our busy minds, but really tuning in to the beautiful sounds of life around us.

If there’s one thing I want you to hold onto, it’s this—thoughts aren’t the same as reality! Next time you lose yourself in your thoughts, take a breath, step back and loosen the reins.

If you’re intrigued by the intricate workings of the mind, consider exploring these references. They encompass a blend of scientific studies, self-help literature, and insightful philosophical and contemplative writings probing the depths of our mental landscape.

Scientific Literature & Books

Harvard Medical School — A New Field of Neuroscience Aims to Map Connections in the Brain

Jill Bolte Taylor — Neuroanatomist whose research specialized in understanding how our brain creates our perception of reality — My Stroke of Insight

Kabat-Zinn, J. (1994). Wherever you go, there you are: Mindfulness meditation in everyday life. Hyperion. Based on the principles of Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR), a program Kabat-Zinn developed at the University of Massachusetts Medical School. The program and its effectiveness have been the subject of scientific research.

Leonard Shlain was a prominent surgeon and author who wrote several books exploring the intersections of art, science, and culture.

Nolen-Hoeksema, S. (2000). Women Who Think Too Much: How to Break Free of Overthinking and Reclaim Your Life

Gazzaniga, M. S. (1998). The split brain revisited. Scientific American.

Beck, A. T., Rush, A. J., Shaw, B. F., & Emery, G. (1979). Cognitive therapy of depression. Guilford press

Contemplative Traditions & Philosophical Texts

Tolle, E. (2005). A new earth: Awakening to your life’s purpose. Penguin

Hanh, Thich Nhat. (1999). The miracle of mindfulness: An introduction to the practice of meditation. Beacon Press

Dalai Lama & Cutler, H. C. (1998). The Art of Happiness. Riverhead Books

Self-Help & Popular Psychology

Duhigg, C. (2012). The power of habit: Why we do what we do in life and business. Random House

Clear, J. (2018). Atomic habits: An easy & proven way to build good habits & break bad ones. Avery

Gilbert, D. (2006). Stumbling on happiness. Vintage

Websites & Articles

Psychology Today — articles on overthinking, mindfulness, and cognitive-behavioral therapy

Harvard Business Review — articles on decision-making, leadership, and mindfulness

Mindful.org — for articles and practices centered around mindfulness

All images created by Author in Midjourney

The article originally appeared on my Medium Blog. You can check out more of my stories there.

Remember not to miss any of Solitude Reflections and join our email list! And don’t forget to check out the calming meditations on the Breathe page. Can you identify your thought patterns? Which pathways you are reinforcing? Share your thoughts by clicking ‘Comments’ at the top. Your feedback is essential and valued.

Until next time, stay well out there and say no to negative self-talk.

With love, Gael

Written on the Shoshone-Bannock Ancestral Lands in Eastern Idaho

Celebrating the Marvel of Our Body’s Resilience

July 25, 2023 / Gael MacLean

Resilience of the Human Body — Image created by Author

“Take care of your body. It’s the only place you have to live.“
Jim Rohn

Acknowledging the Silent Splendor of Our Body’s Toil

Every day, as we embark on our routines, we rarely take a moment to truly appreciate the tireless and intricate labor our bodies undertake for us. Every breath, every heartbeat serves as evidence of the ceaseless effort our body puts forth, enduring and functioning relentlessly. Our bodies are a testament to nature’s marvel—a complex and sophisticated machinery that performs innumerable tasks every second without any conscious prompting from us. It is high time that we acknowledge and show our gratitude for the incredible work our bodies accomplish on our behalf.

The Harmony of Complex Systems Upholding Our Existence

Our bodies consist of a multitude of intricate systems working in harmony to maintain our vitality. From the immune system’s valiant struggle against diseases to the digestive system’s astute processing of food, each system plays an indispensable role. The seamless coordination among these systems enables us to live, work, and relish life’s pleasures.

In this article, we shall delve into the profound workings of our bodies, illuminating the intricacies and beauty of human biology. We will explore the diverse systems that preserve our existence and the delicate equilibrium they maintain. By comprehending the mechanics of our bodies, we can profoundly appreciate their enduring fortitude and assiduousness.

The Heart’s Role: Beyond a Mere Pump

At the very core of our being, both literally and metaphorically, lies the heart. This vital organ transcends the mere label of a pump; it is the engine propelling our circulatory system, providing every cell in our body with oxygen and nutrients. Each day, our heart dutifully beats around 100,000 times, circulating approximately 2,000 gallons of blood.

The heart embodies endurance, pumping tirelessly without pause to sustain our lives. Its resilience remains steadfast, even under duress, be it during intense exercise or in response to emotional stressors; the heart continues its rhythmic cadence.

Moreover, the heart plays a pivotal role in our body’s defense system. It pumps white blood cells and antibodies—essential components of the immune system—to the sites of infection or injury, bolstering our ability to combat diseases and recover.

The Intricacies of How Our Body Achieves Balance: Homeostasis

One of the most awe-inspiring attributes of our bodies is their capability to uphold balance, known as homeostasis. Homeostasis is the process through which our bodies sustain a stable internal environment despite fluctuations in external conditions. This involves a sophisticated interplay of various systems and mechanisms.

For instance, when we engage in physical activities, our body temperature rises, prompting our bodies to activate sweat glands, aiding in cooling us down. Similarly, when blood sugar levels dip, the pancreas promptly releases insulin to regulate glucose levels in the bloodstream.

Homeostasis is an ever-changing, dynamic process. It is a tribute to our bodies’ extraordinary adaptability and resilience—indispensable for our survival. Without homeostasis, our bodies would be unable to cope with environmental changes, resulting in grave health consequences.

Inhale, Exhale: The Unceasing Labor of the Respiratory System

Our respiratory system, encompassing the lungs and airways, stands as another testament to our body’s remarkable endurance and labor. Each day, we take roughly 20,000 breaths, inhaling life-giving oxygen and exhaling carbon dioxide—a process called respiration, critical for our survival.

Even during moments of repose, our lungs never rest, perpetually expanding and contracting in an unfaltering rhythm, much like the steady ticking of a clock. This seamless and automatic process often goes unnoticed unless we experience shortness of breath or difficulty breathing.

The respiratory system also contributes to regulating our body’s pH balance. Through the modulation of respiration, our bodies can control the amount of carbon dioxide in the bloodstream, affecting its acidity—proof of our body’s remarkable capacity for maintaining homeostasis.

The Digestive System: Extracting Energy and Nutrients

Every morsel of food we consume and every drop of water we drink necessitates processing by our bodies. This crucial task falls to our digestive system—a complex network of organs that dissects food into its constituent nutrients is absorbed into the bloodstream, and utilized by our cells for energy and growth.

Our digestive system persistently labors to process the food we ingest. Beginning with the mouth, where food undergoes breakdown through chewing and saliva, it travels down the esophagus and into the stomach, where it undergoes further decomposition through stomach acid. The partially digested food then proceeds to the small intestine, where the nutrients are assimilated. Any undigested material passes into the large intestine, where water is absorbed, and the remaining waste is expelled from our bodies.

This process stands as a cornerstone of our survival, ensuring the extraction of essential nutrients and energy from our sustenance. It is another manifestation of the diligent labor our bodies undertake day in and day out.

The Endurance of the Immune System: Unseen Struggles Against Invaders

Our bodies constantly face threats from a myriad of external assailants, including bacteria, viruses, parasites, and toxins. The defense against these invasions falls to our immune system—an intricate network of cells, tissues, and organs cooperating to protect us from diseases.

Our immune system remains ever-vigilant, springing into action at the first sign of an invader. It is an unwavering warrior, fighting silent battles to maintain our well-being, unyielding even in the face of unseen adversaries. Its tenacity and resilience enable it to adapt and learn from each encounter with disease.

The immune system’s endurance testifies to its ceaseless commitment to keeping us healthy, relentlessly working day and night. Its remarkable ability to bounce back, even after a severe illness, further exemplifies its indomitable nature.

Our Body’s Response to Stress and Recovery

Our bodies are far from passive recipients of external stressors; they are active responders adept at adapting to and recovering from stress. This is evident in our body’s response to physical stress, such as exercise or injury, as well as emotional stress.

During exercise, our bodies respond by increasing heart rate and respiration, delivering additional oxygen and nutrients to our muscles. Following physical exertion, our bodies initiate a recovery phase, repairing damaged tissues and fortifying muscles to better withstand future challenges—a process known as adaptation that enhances our strength and resilience.

Likewise, when confronted with emotional stress, our bodies activate the stress response, also known as the fight-or-flight response. This results in a series of physiological changes, including heightened heart rate and blood pressure, preparing us to confront or escape from perceived threats. Once the threat dissipates, our bodies return to a state of rest and recovery.

The Nervous System: Our Body’s Astute Communication Network

The nervous system serves as our body’s sophisticated communication network, transmitting signals between different parts of the body. Comprising the central nervous system, which includes the brain and spinal cord, and the peripheral nervous system, consisting of nerves connecting the central system to the rest of the body, it enables an array of crucial functions.

Our nervous system perpetually labors, transmitting signals that regulate activities ranging from heartbeats and breathing to movements and thoughts. It is a marvel of biological engineering, conveying signals at remarkable speeds.

Moreover, the nervous system plays a pivotal role in our body’s response to stress and recovery. Responsible for activating both the stress response and the relaxation response, it aids us in recuperating from stressful situations—evidence of the astonishing fortitude and diligence of our bodies.

The Endocrine System: Orchestrating Our Body’s Symphony

The endocrine system, a network of glands producing and secreting hormones—chemical messengers—regulates a plethora of our body’s functions, including growth, metabolism, mood, and stress.

Our endocrine system operates ceaselessly, releasing hormones in response to changes within our bodies and surroundings. This finely tuned mechanism precisely adjusts to maintain our bodies’ equilibrium.

The endocrine system also plays a pivotal role in our body’s response to stress and recovery. Releasing stress hormones like cortisol helps us cope with stress, while the secretion of recovery hormones like growth hormone aids us in healing and recuperation.

The Skeletal and Muscular Systems: A Sturdy Support and Fluid Motion

Our skeletal and muscular systems collaborate to provide support for our bodies and facilitate movement. The skeletal system serves as the framework, shielding our organs and offering attachment points for our muscles. Meanwhile, the muscular system, boasting over 600 muscles, enables us to move and perform various physical tasks.

Even during moments of rest, these systems remain active. Our muscles diligently maintain our posture and stabilize our joints while our bones continually undergo remodeling, with old bone breaking down and new bone forming.

These systems epitomize the incredible resilience and diligence of our bodies. They function to support, mobilize, and enable us to interact with our environment, exhibiting remarkable efficiency and precision.

The Importance of Rest: Revitalization and Restoration

While our bodies undoubtedly showcase remarkable endurance and diligence, they also necessitate rest. Rest holds vital significance, as it fosters revitalization and restoration. It is during these periods of reprieve that our bodies recuperate from daily stresses, repair damaged tissues, and prepare for the challenges ahead.

Of all forms of rest, sleep assumes particular importance, as it initiates a state of deep repose and recuperation, vital for several crucial functions. This includes the repair of damaged tissues, consolidation of memories, and the release of hormones regulating growth and stress.

Rest transcends mere luxury; it is an absolute necessity for our well-being, as pivotal to our health as nutrition and exercise. It stands as a corroboration to the innate wisdom of our bodies, recognizing when to labor and when to grant themselves respite.

Nurturing Our Body: Supporting Its Silent Tenacity

Grasping the extent of our body’s labor and endurance instills a profound appreciation for these remarkable entities. However, appreciation alone is insufficient. It is imperative that we nurture and support our bodies, recognizing and honoring their hard work.

This entails embracing a healthy lifestyle—comprising a balanced diet, regular exercise, and adequate rest. It also involves managing stress, as the burden of stress can undermine our bodies’ functioning and recovery.

Caring for our bodies is not merely about preventing illnesses or extending life; it constitutes an act of reverence—an acknowledgment of their relentless commitment and enduring perseverance.

Let us celebrate the marvel of our bodies, recognizing their ceaseless efforts and honoring their remarkable resilience.

Final Thoughts: A Tribute to the Resilience of Our Body

Our bodies exemplify the marvels of nature—a testament to the magnificence of evolution and the intricate web of life. Unceasingly, they toil, sustaining and breathing life into our existence. They adapt to stress, recover from adversities, and courageously fight against unseen foes. They are the unsung heroes in the symphony of our lives—the silent warriors deserving of our gratitude.

So, let us raise a toast to our bodies—to their unwavering dedication and indomitable tenacity. Let us honor the intricately interconnected systems that safeguard our lives, their unwavering endurance, and the captivating wonder of human biology. May we forever cherish, respect, and support these extraordinary bodies, recognizing the phenomenal work they perform on our behalf.

Where would we be without our bodies? Not here, love yours.

Be sure not to miss any of Solitude Reflections and join our email list! And don’t forget to check out the calming meditations on the Breathe page. Above all, share any insights on these miraculous bodies of ours by clicking ‘Comments’ at the top. Your feedback is essential and valued.

Until next time, stay well out there and say thank you to your wonderful body. Unique to you.

With love, Gael

Written on the Shoshone-Bannock Ancestral Lands in Eastern Idaho

The Authentic You: The Thrilling Journey of Self-Discovery

July 2, 2023 / Gael MacLean

Image by Reimund Bertrams from Pixabay

The greatest adventure you can embark on is the journey within yourself. Discovering your true essence is a transformative experience.

Welcome to the marvelous odyssey of life, where the most profound adventure lies within the depths of our own being. However, many of us meander through existence without truly comprehending who we are at our core. We may find ourselves trapped within the confines of an inner critic, which distorts our perception of self. It’s time to shatter those barriers, shed the layers that no longer serve us, and embark on the exhilarating journey of self-discovery.

The Power of Self-Awareness

Whether you find yourself in the boardroom of a bustling corporation or nestled in your personal meditation sanctuary, self-awareness reigns supreme as a critical catalyst for personal and professional growth. Research unequivocally demonstrates that individuals who possess a clear understanding of themselves exude confidence, tap into their creativity, and make effective decisions. Moreover, they foster stronger relationships, communicate with ease, and are less inclined to engage in deceitful behavior.

In the corporate realm, leaders with heightened self-awareness tend to cultivate a more satisfied workforce, thereby steering their companies toward greater profitability. Yet, genuine self-awareness remains a rare gem, with a mere 10%-15% of individuals genuinely meeting the criteria.

Decoding Self-Awareness: The Intricacies of the Internal and External Dimensions

Self-awareness manifests in two primary dimensions: internal self-awareness and external self-awareness. Internal self-awareness encompasses our ability to recognize our values, passions, and reactions. This facet is intimately intertwined with elevated job satisfaction, personal empowerment, happiness, and reduced levels of stress and depression.

On the flip side, external self-awareness revolves around comprehending how others perceive us. Leaders who grasp how they are perceived often exhibit exceptional empathy and possess a remarkable ability to take on different perspectives. Consequently, they foster healthier relationships with their employees, thereby fueling heightened job satisfaction and overall effectiveness.

While it might appear that excelling in one dimension would naturally lead to proficiency in the other, research paints a different picture. Astonishingly, there exists a virtually nonexistent correlation between these two dimensions. Hence, to truly embody self-awareness, leaders must cultivate both internal and external facets of their awareness.

The Influence of Experience and Power on Self-Awareness

Contrary to popular belief, experience, and power can occasionally hinder our journey toward self-awareness. Studies have indicated that seasoned managers often overestimate their leadership effectiveness. Likewise, leaders wielding substantial power are more susceptible to overestimating their skills and capabilities.

Leaders at higher hierarchical levels, when compared to their lower-level counterparts, frequently overvalue their proficiencies. This trend permeates almost all measured competencies, including emotional self-awareness and leadership performance.

However, this need not be an inescapable fate. The most accomplished leaders combat this tendency by actively seeking critical feedback on a regular basis. This practice not only sharpens their self-awareness but also enhances their effectiveness in the eyes of others.

Introspection: A Double-Edged Sword

Introspection, the profound act of delving into our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, is often hailed as a valuable tool for fostering self-awareness. However, research illuminates that introspection does not always yield heightened self-awareness and can occasionally spiral into unproductive rumination.

The crux of the issue lies in the questions we pose to ourselves. The ubiquitous introspective question of “why?” often dominates our inner dialogues. We find ourselves pondering, “Why do I feel this way?” or “Why did I react in that manner?” While such inquiries may appear helpful, they often lead us astray, spawning answers that may feel true but are often misleading.

Instead of fixating on “why,” it proves more advantageous to explore the realm of “what” questions. Framing our inquiries around “what” enables us to maintain objectivity, adopt a future-oriented mindset, and empower us to take action based on newfound insights. It steers us away from getting mired in the problems of the past, propelling us toward practical solutions.

The Daily Ritual of Self-Connection

To embark on a profound journey of self-discovery, we must cultivate a daily ritual of self-connection. Here, we present six practices that will facilitate this transformative process:

Daily Self Check-In

Dedicate a few moments each morning to check in with yourself. Observe the sensations in your body, acknowledge your emotions, notice the focus of your mind, and gauge your overall mood. This practice will imbue your day with a profound sense of self-awareness right from the start.

Attentiveness to Your Feelings

Pay heed to your emotions, especially those that trigger intense responses. Often, these emotions act as messengers, unveiling the unconscious beliefs that hold you back. When faced with strong emotions, approach them with a spirit of curiosity and uncover the deeper convictions from which they stem.

Follow Your Energy

Take note of what invigorates and drains your energy. Your energy levels often serve as a compass, guiding you toward the right path. Utilize your energy as an internal guide to inform your decisions and shape your actions.

Decipher the Language of Your Body

Your body possesses a unique wisdom of its own. Attend to the signals it sends you. Regularly tune in to understand its needs and its responses to different situations.

Embrace the Art of Being

Dedicate a few minutes each day to simply be. In our fast-paced world, this practice may appear counterintuitive, but it proves vital for nurturing self-awareness. Allow yourself the space to connect deeply with your inner self.

Capture Your Dreams in Writing

Dreams offer direct communication from our deepest selves. By attentively observing and recording your dreams, you unlock insights, find answers, and navigate your personal journey with newfound wisdom.

Final Thoughts

Embarking on the path to discovering your authentic self entails a profound and ongoing expedition into self-awareness. It necessitates striking a delicate balance between internal and external perspectives, remaining cognizant of the potential pitfalls of power and experience, and questioning the validity of our introspections.

Undoubtedly, this journey poses challenges, but the rewards are immeasurable. A deeper understanding of oneself fuels heightened confidence, unlocks wellsprings of creativity, and sharpens decision-making skills. Embrace this extraordinary expedition and welcome your authentic self with open arms. The path to self-discovery awaits, ready to reveal its transformative wonders.

“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
Oscar Wilde

Be sure not to miss any of Solitude Reflections and join our email list! And don’t forget to check out the calming meditations on the Breathe page. Above all, share any comments about your path to discovering your authentic self by clicking ‘Comments’ at the top. Your feedback is essential and valued.

Until next time, stay well out there and enjoy your journey. It’s never long enough.

With love, Gael

Written on the Shoshone-Bannock Ancestral Lands in Eastern Idaho

Suicide Is Not Painless: The True Complexity of Desperation

June 20, 2023 / Gael MacLean

Desolate, colorless landscape symbolizing suicide — Image by Joe from Pixabay

“Suicide is not chosen; it happens when pain exceeds resources for coping with pain”
David L. Conroy

Prelude

In the iconic anthem of the television series M.A.S.H., we are reminded that “the game of life is hard to play,” where defeat can often seem inevitable. These profound lyrics resonate with the immense struggles and obstacles that many individuals encounter, driving them to contemplate desperate measures like suicide.

However, it is crucial to acknowledge that suicide is anything but painless, inflicting profound anguish upon those involved and the wider community left in its wake. In this article, we embark on a journey to unravel the multifaceted nature of suicide, aiming to cultivate empathy and understanding for those trapped in the clutches of despair.

The Complexity of Desperation

Life resembles a tapestry intricately woven with threads of joy, sorrow, triumph, and failure. Yet, for some, the weight of challenges and hardships becomes overwhelming, leaving them devoid of hope and drowning in desperation. We must recognize that individuals contemplating suicide are not merely seeking an escape from pain; they often grapple with deep-rooted emotional and psychological burdens that have become unbearable.

Emotional turmoil, such as depression, anxiety, trauma, or overwhelming grief, relentlessly erodes one’s sense of self-worth and obscures rational judgment. Trapped within an insurmountable cycle of negative thoughts and emotions, they perceive no alternative paths. It is vital for us to grasp the profound distress that propels someone to consider extinguishing their own life, approaching this delicate subject with boundless empathy and compassion.

The Ripple Effect: Impact on Loved Ones

While the decision to end one’s life may seem, from an individual’s perspective, like an escape from their anguish, it is crucial to acknowledge its far-reaching consequences on their loved ones and the broader community. Suicide unleashes a devastating aftermath of heartache, bewilderment, and guilt, forever altering the lives of those left behind.

Families and friends of the departed often grapple with overwhelming grief, plagued by persistent questioning of whether they could have intervened to prevent such a tragic outcome. Feelings of guilt, self-blame, and shame intertwine with the already profound sorrow, exacerbating the pain. The impact extends far beyond immediate relationships, casting a shadow of perplexity over entire communities. Friends, classmates, and coworkers find themselves engulfed by their own tumultuous emotions, striving to fathom the inexplicable loss caused by a soul consumed by despair.

It is crucial to remember that suicide is a complex issue, often influenced by a myriad of factors. Assigning blame solely to oneself or others is neither equitable nor productive.

“I sat with my anger long enough until she told me her real name was grief.”
C.S. Lewis

Empathy: The Key to Prevention

Nurturing empathy is paramount when discussing suicide, for it enables us to create a safe haven where open dialogue thrives. And where we actively listen to those in distress and offer genuine support. By cultivating an empathetic society, we can foster an environment where individuals feel truly understood and valued. And are less likely to succumb to the abyss of hopelessness.

In the battle against suicide, identifying the warning signs assumes significant importance. Subtle shifts in behavior, such as withdrawal from social activities or heightened irritability, serve as potential indicators of inner distress.

Active listening stands as an indispensable pillar of empathy. By wholeheartedly embracing the struggles of others, we validate their experiences, demonstrating that their pain is acknowledged and revered. Avoiding judgment and extending compassion can act as a lifeline to those who find themselves in the throes of anguish, providing the solace they so desperately crave.

Supporting the Survivors

Those who have borne the harrowing weight of losing a loved one to suicide require our unwavering support and care. Nurturing the healing process mandates the creation of a haven, where survivors can safely articulate their grief, access professional aid, and connect with community resources. In acknowledging their pain and extending our unyielding support, we embark upon a shared journey toward healing, united in the bonds of empathy.

The Significance of Self-Care

During times of immense grief, it is easy for survivors to neglect their own well-being. However, self-care assumes utmost importance in the process of healing. Engaging in activities that bring solace, such as exercise, artistic expression, or journaling, can offer a much-needed respite from the anguish. Taking time to nurture oneself and prioritize mental and emotional well-being becomes essential in cultivating resilience, and discovering hope amidst the prevailing darkness.

Prevention and Support

Safeguarding against suicide must be a foremost concern for every society. Numerous resources stand ready to assist individuals who may be contemplating this irreversible choice, including helplines, support groups, and mental health professionals. By raising awareness about these invaluable lifelines, we can effectuate positive change and save lives.

Normalization of conversations surrounding mental health and the destigmatization of seeking help represent pivotal steps. Encouraging individuals to share their struggles openly can dismantle the isolating barriers and shame often associated with mental health challenges. By forging a network of unwavering support, we instill within individuals the realization that they are not alone. And that even amidst the darkest moments, hope persists.

Furthermore, governments and institutions must invest in the infrastructure of mental health, ensuring accessibility, affordability, and comprehensive care. By integrating mental health support seamlessly into primary care systems and educational institutions, we can ensure that individuals receive the necessary assistance before their struggles spiral into overwhelming despair.

Final Thoughts

Suicide is anything but painless; it stands as a tragic and intricate consequence of unfathomable despair. By embracing empathy, fostering understanding, and prioritizing comprehensive mental health support, we possess the power to make a profound difference in the lives of those who suffer. Let us remember that every individual’s life holds immeasurable value. And it remains our collective responsibility to forge a society where no one must confront their battles alone. Together, we can rewrite the narrative of desperation, offering a beacon of hope, healing, and a brighter future for all.

This post is dedicated to Wyatt. You left us much too soon, Wyatt. You are missed.

‘Chasing Cars’ by Snow Patrol

In the US alone, an average of 132 people kill themselves every day. Suicide is one of the leading causes of death in the United States.

More To Contemplate

1. How can I extend a helping hand to a friend grappling with suicidal thoughts?

Supporting a friend entangled in the dark web of suicidal thoughts necessitates the wielding of empathy, active listening, and gentle encouragement toward seeking professional help. Be a steadfast presence, validating their emotions, and guiding them toward the mental health resources that can illuminate their path.

2. Are there online resources available for individuals contemplating suicide?

Indeed, a multitude of online resources stand ready to provide immediate support to those ensnared in the grip of crisis. Helplines, chat services, and crisis text lines offer assistance, guidance, and a compassionate ear in moments of utmost despair. A few options are listed below.

3. How can schools and educational institutions address this heart-wrenching issue?

Educational institutions wield significant influence in confronting the issue of suicide among our youth. By implementing comprehensive mental health programs, educating students and staff alike, and nurturing an environment of unwavering support, schools can prevent suicide and offer crucial aid to those who struggle.

4. How can I contribute to reducing the stigma surrounding suicide?

Your voice holds immense power in dismantling the walls of stigma surrounding suicide. Engage in open conversations about mental health, share personal experiences, and lend support to mental health initiatives. By educating others about the raw realities of suicide and challenging misconceptions, you become a catalyst for change.

5. Where can survivors of suicide find ongoing support?

Survivors of suicide can find solace and support through counseling services, support groups, and community organizations that stand dedicated to providing care to those who have lost loved ones to suicide. Within these havens, they shall find understanding, guidance, and the solace they seek on the journey of healing.

Resources

It’s important to reach out to a professional who can provide the appropriate help and support. Here are some suicide prevention hotlines and support services that you can contact:

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (United States)
Website: https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/
Phone: 988 or Chat Online
Crisis Text Line (United States)
Website: https://www.crisistextline.org/
Text: HOME to 741741 – WhatsApp or Chat Online
Samaritans (United Kingdom and Ireland)
Website: https://www.samaritans.org/
Phone: 116 123 for Free or Chat Online
Lifeline (Australia)
Website: https://www.lifeline.org.au/
Phone: 13 11 14 – Text or Chat Online
Centre for Suicide Prevention (Canada)
Website: https://talksuicide.ca
Phone: 1-833-456-4566 – Text: 45645

These are just a few examples of support services available in different countries. If you are located outside these regions, I encourage you to search for local helplines or crisis centers that can assist. Remember, reaching out to someone for help is a sign of strength, and there are people who care and want to support you.

Keep your loved ones close and extend a helping hand to anyone struggling with suicidal thoughts or caught in the aftermath of loss. With love, Gael

Written on the Shoshone-Bannock Ancestral Lands in Eastern Idaho

Let’s Talk About Weight Shaming: What It Is and Why It Needs to Stop

April 18, 2023 / Gael MacLean

Bullying of an overweight woman depicted in a 1942 advertisement for a dietary supplement. — See page for author, Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons

“You are allowed to be both a masterpiece and a work in progress simultaneously.”
Sophia Bush

As a society, we have made significant progress in recent years in the fight against discrimination and prejudice. However, weight shaming is still a prevalent issue that affects many individuals. Weight shaming can have a serious impact on a person’s self-esteem and mental health, and it’s time we start talking about it. In this article, I will define weight shaming, discuss its impact on overweight people, explore cultural aspects of weight shaming, and suggest ways we can change our patterns of thinking around this issue.

What is Weight Shaming?

Weight shaming is the act of discriminating against or ridiculing someone based on their weight. It can take many forms, such as name-calling, exclusion, and negative comments about a person’s appearance. Weight shaming occurs in various settings, including schools, workplaces, and medical facilities, perpetrated by individuals or groups.

For example, a person may be called “fat” or “lazy” by their peers or coworkers. Or excluded from social events or job opportunities because of their weight. A doctor may make negative comments about a patient’s weight or assume that all health problems are related to their weight without conducting a thorough examination. These examples all demonstrate the harmful effects of weight shaming.

How Weight Shaming Impacts Overweight People

Weight shaming can have a severe impact on a person’s mental and physical health. The shame and guilt associated with weight shaming can lead to depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem. Overweight individuals may feel unworthy, embarrassed, or ashamed, and may develop unhealthy coping mechanisms such as binge eating or substance abuse.

Additionally, weight shaming can lead to weight gain and other health problems. Research shows that individuals who experience weight shaming are more likely to engage in unhealthy behaviors such as emotional eating, decreased physical activity, and avoidance of medical care, all of which can contribute to weight gain and other health problems.

Debunking the Myths About Body Weight and Appearance Ideals

Body Positive Black Woman defies weight shaming — Photo by Jennifer Enujiugha from Pexels

There are many myths surrounding body weight and appearance ideals that contribute to poor body image. One of the most significant is the idea that extra weight is always unhealthy. While obesity is associated with several health risks, including heart disease and diabetes, research shows that there are many other factors that contribute to overall health, including genetics and lifestyle factors. They have now debunked the myth of BMI. It’s not an accurate measure of a person’s health and does not account for the many variables that make up our body types.

Additionally, the oppressive nature of appearance ideals perpetuated by the media and society leads to the exploitation and furthering of myths about poor body image for monetization. These myths are used to sell products, including diet pills, weight loss supplements, and other beauty products, which are not always effective or safe.

Another common myth is that exercise is the #1 key to good health. While exercise is essential for overall health, it’s imperative to recognize that there are many other factors that contribute to well-being, including nutrition, sleep, and stress management. Focusing solely on exercise and neglecting other areas of self-care can lead to burnout and further exacerbate body image concerns.

Dieting is often touted as a way to achieve the “perfect” body, but research shows that it can actually make people fatter. This is because restrictive diets can lead to binge eating and weight cycling, which can negatively impact physical and mental health in the long run. And unless you commit to staying on that particular diet for the rest of your life you will put the weight you lost and more back on as your body has been in starvation mode and will stockpile calories when it can.

Cultural Aspects of Weight Shaming

Weight shaming is often rooted in cultural attitudes toward weight and body image. In Western societies, thinness is often equated with beauty and success, while larger bodies are stigmatized. This stigma can be seen in media portrayals of overweight individuals, where they are often depicted as lazy, unattractive, unhealthy, and dumb.

Furthermore, individuals from marginalized communities, such as those with lower socioeconomic status or those from racial and ethnic minority groups, are more likely to experience weight shaming. This is because these individuals have limited access to healthy food options, safe places to exercise, and medical care, which contributes to weight gain and other health problems.

It’s essential to recognize that there is no one “ideal” body size or shape. Instead, individuals should focus on maintaining a healthy weight that is sustainable for their lifestyle and body type. People are like trees in the forest. How boring it would be if they all looked exactly the same.

The Effects of Weight Shaming on Mental Health

The effects of weight shaming on mental health are well-documented. Studies have found that individuals who experience weight shaming are more likely to develop depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem. Furthermore, weight shaming can lead to disordered eating and other unhealthy behaviors, which can exacerbate mental health problems.

Research also suggests that weight shaming can lead to social isolation and decreased quality of life. Overweight individuals may feel excluded from social events and may struggle to form meaningful relationships due to shame and negative self-image.

How Do We Change the Patterns of Thinking Around Weight Shaming?

Changing patterns of thinking around weight shaming requires a multi-faceted approach. Education and awareness campaigns can help to dispel myths about weight and body image and promote acceptance and understanding.

Encouraging body positivity and self-acceptance is an effective way to combat weight shaming. It’s important to focus on health, not weight, and to accept all body types as valid and beautiful. Educating others on the harm of weight shaming is also important, whether it’s through sharing personal experiences or using social media to spread awareness.

Furthermore, healthcare providers can play a critical role in reducing weight shaming by adopting a compassionate and non-judgmental approach. Providers can focus on the health and wellness of their patients rather than their weight, and provide resources and support to help patients achieve their health goals.

The Role of Media in Weight Shaming

Media has a significant influence on our attitudes toward weight and body image. Unfortunately, many media portrayals of overweight individuals perpetuate harmful stereotypes and contribute to weight stigma.

However, some media companies have taken steps to promote body positivity and reduce weight shame. For example, some fashion brands have expanded their size offerings to be more inclusive, and some TV shows have featured diverse body types in their programming.

With media and advertising companies playing a role in reducing weight stigma they promote more diverse and inclusive body types through their content. This can help to shift cultural attitudes towards weight and body image and encourage body positivity.

Social media can have a significant impact on an individual’s body image. It is often full of images of idealized bodies, which can lead to body dissatisfaction and a fear of gaining weight. It can also be a source of body-shaming and fat-shaming, which can further damage an individual’s body image.

It’s important to challenge negative self-talk and unrealistic beauty standards. Unfollow social media accounts that advocate harmful messages and replace them with those that embolden body positivity and self-acceptance.

The Importance of Promoting Body Positivity

Body Positive Woman defies weight shaming — Photo by Jade Destiny on Unsplash

Promoting body positivity is crucial in the fight against weight shaming. Body positivity is the idea that all bodies are worthy of love and respect, regardless of size or shape. By advancing body positivity, we can help to reduce weight stigma and endorse acceptance and understanding.

Body positivity can be promoted in various ways, such as through media and advertising campaigns, education and awareness programs, and social media movements. By embracing diverse body types and encouraging acceptance and understanding, we can create a more inclusive and accepting society.

There are several strategies that individuals can use to prevent and decrease body image concerns. One of the most effective is to focus on self-care and self-compassion. This includes practicing self-acceptance, engaging in activities that stimulate physical and emotional well-being, and seeking support from trusted friends and family members.

Finally, speaking up against weight shaming whenever it occurs can help to end the cycle of discrimination. Weight shaming is a form of bullying. Don’t be that bully, even in your own mind. By actively challenging harmful comments and behaviors, we can create a safer and more inclusive environment for everyone.

Resources for Those Who Have Experienced Weight Shaming

If you or someone you know has experienced weight shaming, there are resources available to help. Support groups, therapy, and counseling can provide a safe and supportive space to process emotions and develop healthy coping mechanisms.

Advocacy organizations such as the National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance (NAAFA) and the Association for Size Diversity and Health (ASDAH) can provide resources and support for individuals who have experienced weight shaming.

Final Thoughts: Call to Action to End Weight Shaming

Weight shaming is a harmful and pervasive issue that affects many individuals. It can have severe impacts on mental and physical health and contribute to weight stigma and discrimination. However, by promoting body positivity, educating others, and advocating for change, we can create a more inclusive and accepting society.

By actively challenging this behavior and promoting self-acceptance, we can create a world where everyone feels comfortable and confident in their own skin. Remember, your worth is not determined by your weight. You deserve to be treated with respect and kindness, no matter what your body looks like.

If you or someone you know has experienced weight shaming you are not alone. And there are resources available to help. Let’s work together to end weight shaming and promote acceptance and understanding of all body types.

“The scale can only give you a numerical reflection of your relationship with gravity. That’s it. It cannot measure beauty, talent, purpose, life force, possibility, strength or love.”
Unknown

Check out this great body-shame animation!

Be sure not to miss any of Solitude Reflections and join our email list! And don’t forget to check out the new mindfulness videos on the Breathe page. Share any comments about weight shaming by clicking ‘Comments’ at the top. Your feedback is important and valued.

Until next time, stay well out there and just say ‘Hello Beautiful’ every time you look in the mirror. With love, Gael

Written on the Shoshone-Bannock Ancestral Lands in Eastern Idaho

Surviving Solitude: Beating the Winter Blues

February 21, 2023 / Gael MacLean

lonely tree surviving the winter blues — Image by William Sinclair from Pixabay

One kind word can warm three winter months.
Japanese proverb

Winter can be a difficult time for many people. The darkness and cold of the season can affect people’s mood and energy levels, leading to feelings of loneliness and isolation. This phenomenon is known as the “winter blues” and can have a profound impact on someone’s life if not addressed. How can we survive the winter blues?

When people feel isolated, they may become overwhelmed by the loneliness and feel hopeless. This can lead to a range of negative emotions, such as depression, anxiety, fear, and anger. It is important to recognize that these feelings are not permanent and can be managed with the right strategies that will help you survive solitude when it is not beneficial.

What is the winter blues?

The winter blues are a type of seasonal depression that affects many people during the colder months. It usually begins in the fall and continues through the winter. It is a combination of physical, emotional, and behavioral shifts, brought on by changes in daylight and temperature.

The most common symptoms of the winter blues include feeling more tired than usual, loss of motivation and energy, difficulty concentrating, and feeling down or irritable. In some cases, the winter blues can lead to more serious conditions such as depression and seasonal affective disorder (SAD). (More about SAD in the Mayo Clinic video at the end of this post.) While it’s normal to feel a bit down or off during the colder months, if you’re feeling persistently low or anxious, it’s important to talk to a doctor or mental health professional.

Reasons for feeling lonely and isolated during the colder months

The winter months can be a challenging time for many of us. With shorter days, colder temperatures, and limited activities, it’s easy to feel disconnected and alienated. We may have had less opportunities to socialize with friends and family due to the pandemic and this can impact our social structure in the long term. Even if you live with family or roommates, it’s possible to feel isolated due to lack of meaningful connection.

In addition, the winter blues can make it difficult to concentrate on tasks and be productive. This can lead to boredom, frustration and low self-esteem. Which can further exacerbate the winter blues. People who are lonely or isolated may also be more likely to engage in unhealthy behaviors, such as substance abuse, overeating, and not getting enough sleep. Research has shown that loneliness can have negative impacts on physical and mental health, including increasing the risk of depression, anxiety, and other mental health issues. These feelings can be difficult to grapple with, but it is possible to manage them with the right coping strategies.

How to survive the winter blues

The first step in beating the winter blues is to recognize that it’s normal to feel a bit down during the colder months. Identify the underlying causes of your symptoms and take steps to address them. This may include making lifestyle changes such as getting more exercise, eating a healthy diet, and getting enough sleep. Additionally, spending time outdoors in natural light can help to boost your mood and energy levels. If it’s too cold outside for you find ways to stay active indoors, such as taking a yoga class or doing an online workout.

Taking care of your mental wellness is just as essential as physical health. There are various approaches that can be beneficial, such as self-care, mindfulness, connecting with people, physical activity, enjoying hobbies, and engaging in creative pursuits.

Practice good self-care

It’s essential to prioritize yourself and your wellbeing when tackling loneliness and seclusion. This includes nourishing your body with nutritious food, getting adequate rest and exercise, and taking some moments for yourself. Mindfulness practices like meditation, deep breathing, and connecting with nature can be exceptionally helpful in reaching that state of ease. Avoid negative coping behaviors, such as overuse of alcohol, overspending, or excess screen time, which can increase depression and deepen the winter blues.

Stay in the Present Moment

Paying attention to the present is a skill that can be developed through mindfulness. It involves being aware of your thoughts and emotions without judgement and allowing yourself the space to experience and accept them. Mindfulness can assist in keeping a connection with oneself, even when feeling lonely or removed from others. Thoughts about what may happen in the future are not real. And the past is gone forever.

Reach out to People

Maintaining relationships is key to overcoming loneliness and separation. Though it may be hard to see people in person during cold weather, there are still a lot of options to stay in contact. Setting up virtual gatherings, video conferencing, and online forums are all excellent methods to remain connected with others. In addition to forming meaningful relationships, it’s important to make sure you’re having fun. Try to avoid toxic or negative folks. They will pull you down if they can.

Keep Moving

Staying physically active is a very effective way to cope with loneliness and isolation. Increasing your heart rate for 20 minutes three times per week can boost endorphins and combat low mood. Plus, it can help minimize stress and worry, and bring about a general sense of wellbeing. What’s more, doing regular exercise can help boost your physical energy levels. Even if it’s cold, make an effort to get out and get some fresh air. Stay active! Walking, running or even dancing is extremely beneficial.

Explore Your Creative Side

Engaging in creative activities can be an effective way to cope with loneliness and isolation and give yourself a sense of accomplishment. Developing and sharing your unique ideas through writing, art, music or any passion you have can be a great way to express yourself. And a very powerful way to stay connected to your inner self and you own truth.

Dealing with feelings of loneliness and depression

If you’re feeling lonely or depressed during the winter months, it’s important to take care of yourself and seek support. Reach out to friends and family and let them know how you’re feeling. You may find that they’re able to provide a listening ear and offer words of encouragement. If your feelings of loneliness and depression persist, it is important to seek professional help. A therapist or counselor can help you to identify the underlying causes of your symptoms and help you develop strategies to cope with them.

Healthy ways to boost your mood and energy levels

One of the best ways to boost your mood and energy levels is to get enough sleep. Aim for at least 8 hours of sleep each night, avoid napping during the day and stick to a regular sleep schedule. Do whatever you need to do to take care of yourself to beat the winter blues. Here are some tips for staying positive and energized during the colder months:

Increase Your Vitamin D Levels

Avoid fatigue, muscle weakness and pain in winter by boosting your Vitamin D levels with both vitamin D and Omega 3 fatty acid supplements. Even if the weather is chilly, make sure to spend some time outdoors every day to get some natural light on your face. Additionally, if possible, consider buying a sun lamp and sitting in the light for a minimum of half an hour daily. These lamps are compact, so you can easily keep one at your desk. Or try a Dawn Simulator. More about these options in the Mayo Clinic video at the end of the post.

Eat Well

Eating healthy is not only about what you eat but also when and where you eat. It can make all the difference in how you feel. You can start by eating a variety of foods, making sure to include fruits, vegetables, whole grains, lean proteins and healthy fats in your diet. This helps to provide essential nutrients, vitamins and minerals to keep your body functioning optimally. Eating healthy does not mean you have to give up all of your favorite treats, but rather to enjoy them in moderation.

Practice Gratitude

Cognitive behavioral therapy suggests that our emotions and behaviors are preceded by our thoughts, so strive to maintain a constructive mindset. Writing down what you are grateful for in a journal is one way to do this, as well as retraining your brain to discern the positive aspects of any given situation and sharing them with others. Keep thought journals to restructure negative thinking to more positive and adaptive ways of thinking. Make being thankful a habit.

Structure Your Day

It is essential to create a structure for your day and incorporate both self-care and social support into your routine. Good time management is one of the most important things to remember to avoid being overwhelmed by the winter blues. Set yourself some realistic goals for the day, and break them down into manageable tasks and a time frame in which to complete them. This will help you to stay on track and maintain a sense of productivity.

Plan A Sunny Getaway

Not only can the sunshine lift your spirits, but the break from routine will also give you a much-needed boost to your overall wellbeing. If your time and finances permit, schedule a getaway to some place warm and sunny between January and April. There are countless mental and physical health benefits when looking forward to a vacation and taking time off from work. This is especially important as many of us are dealing with overwork and burnout these days. Whether you choose to relax on a beach, explore a new city or take part in some fun activities, you’ll come back feeling refreshed and energized. More than ready to take on the rest of the winter season.

Nurture Your Mental Wellbeing

Looking after your mental health is important, especially with the winter blues setting in. Talk to a counselor or therapist if you think it could help. Investing in yourself and your mental health can improve your mood and enhance greater self-confidence. Furthermore, ask your doctor to check your vitamin D and thyroid levels, as these can have an effect on depression, and consider if an antidepressant could be beneficial.

Key Takeaways: Survive the winter blues with the right attitude and perspective

Winter can be a tough time for a lot of folks, but it is possible to beat the winter blues. By taking steps to address the underlying causes of your symptoms, engaging in activities that bring you joy, and connecting with others, you can learn to embrace winter. Use positive self-talk to encourage yourself along the way.

No matter how hard it may be, remember that you are never alone. There are always people who care, and there are always strategies to help you overcome the depression associated with winter. With the right strategies and support, you can beat the winter blues and survive solitude.

Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

Resources for surviving the winter blues:

National Alliance on Mental Illness

Mayo Clinic: Seasonal affective disorder

Seasonal Affective Disorder – Mayo Clinic Health System

Before you go

Is it possible to have too much time alone? The pandemic has taught us that enforced solitude can have an adverse impact on our mental health. Similarly, solitude as a form of punishment can be challenging to manage. We will explore these topics and more in upcoming posts. Be sure not to miss any of Solitude Reflections and join our email list! Don’t forget to add us to your contacts so we don’t end up in your spam folder.

Until next time, stay well out there and enjoy your time alone! With love, Gael

PS. You will find some new mindfulness and relaxation exercises on the Breathe page. Including Tina Turner’s “Beyond” video.

Share your comments by clicking on ‘Comments’ at the head of the post. We would all love to hear your thoughts.

Written on the Shoshone-Bannock Ancestral Lands in Eastern Idaho

Header Image by Cindy Lever from Pixabay

Harness the Power of Solitude: Unlock Your Full Potential with Different Types of Alone Time

January 31, 2023 / Gael MacLean

Illustrating how a bird alone exemplifies the beauty in solitude — Image by Kanenori from Pixabay

In stillness lives wisdom. In quiet you’ll find peace. In solitude you’ll remember yourself.
Robin Sharma

In the previous post we took a look at how the benefits of solitude can be a great asset for contemplation, creativity, and personal growth. It gives us the chance to recover and recharge ourselves. Even though it can be advantageous, many people have a hard time being by themselves. This can lead to feelings of loneliness and a sense of disconnection. Or fear of not having the opportunity to experience new things. In this article, we’ll explore more in depth the different types of alone time. And how it can be harnessed as a positive and powerful life-enhancing experience.

What is the Power of Solitude?

When embraced with intention, being alone can be an incredible aid to self-awareness and recovery. Taking time out to consider life, manage feelings, and dream up new concepts can be a lovely way to destress. By recognizing the strength of solitude, we can gain more insight into ourselves. And have the space to recognize our needs. We can expand our capacity for empathy and develop a deeper appreciation for oneself and the world around us. Additionally, solitude can be a powerful tool to help build mental resilience, finding strength and healing in the face of adversity.

Understanding the Different Types of Solitude

Solitude can come in many forms. It can be a solitary activity like yoga or meditation, or it can be a period of time spent alone. There are also many different types of solitude that can be harnessed. Let’s look at some of the diverse types of solitude:

Physical Solitude:

When talking about physical seclusion, it means being alone by yourself. Taking a stroll or dedicating time to the outdoors are great ways to be physically alone. It can also be as simple as taking some time to yourself in the comfort of your own home.

Mental Solitude:

When someone talks about mental solitude, they’re referring to the state of being alone while your thoughts are engaged with something else. This could involve reading a book, listening to music, or watching a movie. It’s a chance to take some time out while still occupying your mind.

Spiritual Solitude:

Taking the time to be all by yourself and free your mind of all thoughts is what is known as spiritual solitude. This could involve meditating, praying, or just sitting quietly. It is a moment dedicated to connecting with your inner self, understanding your spiritual being. And accessing a higher level of consciousness.

Being socially isolated doesn’t necessarily mean being completely disconnected. It can also mean being alone while still engaging with the world around you. Like spending time on social media or messaging a friend. Though you’re by yourself, you still have a connection to the outside world.

Exploring the Benefits of Solitude

Taking some time for yourself can be extremely beneficial, when done with the right intentions. Here are some of the incredible advantages of harnessing the power of solitude.

Self-reflection:

Self-reflection is an important process that helps us to gain clarity and understanding of our thoughts and feelings. It gives us the opportunity to identify our emotions and really take a step back from our lives, seeing things from a different perspective. Being alone allows us the time to process our emotions and reflect upon the decisions we have made. It gives us an opportunity to make changes if needed. Self-reflection is an important part of self-care, helping us to stay true to ourselves and live life with intention.

Creativity:

Taking time to be by ourselves can help us tap into our creative side. It allows us to explore our creative abilities, free from any influence from others. It is a great way to generate unique ideas and discover new hobbies we never thought possible. There is no better feeling than taking the time to create something that only you can do. Something that you can look back on and be proud of. Taking time for yourself to explore your creative abilities gives you an opportunity to have fun and find a sense of purpose.

Focus:

Taking time alone to focus on ourselves can be one of the most rewarding activities we can do. It helps us to put our goals and aspirations into perspective and really buckle down on what needs to be taken care of. This helps us to prioritize tasks on hand and be more productive. This allows us to make the most of our day. It also helps us to establish better habits. We can take a step back and evaluate our progress by assessing our current situation and making necessary adjustments in order to move forward. Taking time alone to focus can help us become better versions of ourselves and reach our full potential.

Healing:

Solitude can be a great tool in our healing process. It provides us with a much-needed space to find inner tranquility and self-reflection to process issues and heal trauma. Through this time alone, we can cultivate a better understanding of ourselves and connect with the depths of our emotional being. Solitude encourages us to take the time to listen to our inner voice and reconnect with our own sense of security. This enables us to move forward in life with greater emotional balance and wellbeing.

How to Incorporate Solitude into Your Lifestyle

To make the most of the advantages of being alone, it’s essential to make space for it in your daily routine. Here are a few suggestions to help you harness solitude in your life.

Schedule Alone Time:

Setting aside a specific period each day to practice meditation or journaling can be incredibly beneficial and help you to feel more relaxed and at ease. By scheduling this time into your daily or weekly routine, you can ensure that you’re taking the time to pause and reflect. It’s essential for your mental and emotional wellbeing to have dedicated time for yourself. Write this time into your calendar to make sure it becomes a priority.

Develop a Plan:

Putting together a plan for your alone time is a great way to maximize the value of your personal moments. It can be a specific activity or simply a period of relaxation – the important thing is to have a clear idea of how to create the space for yourself. Furthermore, taking this time to prepare for the days and weeks ahead can help you take control of your life and attain equilibrium while maximizing your enjoyment in your time alone.

Find a Quiet Space:

Having your own private space where you can relax and feel secure is an important part of life. Make sure to take the time to find a tranquil spot that you can reserve for yourself. Whether it’s a cozy corner of your living room or a bench by the pond, ensure it’s somewhere away from distractions where you can truly feel relaxed. There’s nothing quite like having a place that you can go to and escape the chaos of everyday life.

Unplug:

Disconnecting from the digital world can give you the peace of mind and clarity that you need to make wise decisions. A break from your phone, TV, Social Media and the Internet is an important step to avoid getting sidetracked in your life. Dedicate attention to yourself, pause and take a few moments to reflect on things that really matter without the noise of the digital world.

Creating Space for Reflection and Reflection Questions

Reflection is an important part of the process of harnessing the power of solitude. It gives us the opportunity to process our thoughts and feelings, and gain clarity and understanding. Here are some reflection questions you can use to get started:

    What are some things I want to let go of in my life?

    What are some things I want to focus on in my life?

    What have I learned about myself recently?

    What are my values and how can I live in alignment with them?

    What are some fears I have and how can I overcome them?

    What is one thing I can do today to make myself feel better?

    What are some things I'm grateful for in my life?

Types of Solitude Activities

There are many different types of activities that can be done while in solitude. Here are some suggestions to help you begin:

Yoga:

Yoga is a wonderful way to reconnect with yourself, to help you find your stillness and become more aware of who you are and what you need. It’s a natural way to reduce stress and bring balance to your life. Taking the time to devote yourself to this practice aids in finding the clarity and insight you need to make healthier lifestyle choices. It can also help you gain a deeper understanding of yourself, creating an inner peace and serenity that will last.

Meditation:

Meditating is a powerful way to get in touch with yourself and your innermost feelings. It allows you to take a deep dive into your thoughts and emotions, uncovering your true beliefs and values. By taking the time to focus on mindfulness and become deeply connected to meaningful experiences, you can find a sense of peace and tranquility, enabling you to better manage stress, anxiety, and even pain. Ultimately, meditation provides an incredibly valuable experience that helps give you the tools to live life more positively.

Journaling:

Writing in a journal has been proven to help reduce stress, and nurture a positive mood. It can even help improve short-term memory! The act of simply putting your thoughts into words can be a great way to move through the day in an organized, confident way. It also gives you time to reflect on your current state of mind. And allows you to focus on the things that really matter. So why not start putting pen to paper today and reap the benefits of writing in a journal?

Reading:

Reading offers so many different ways to escape the hectic and frenetic pace of everyday life. With poetry, you can open your heart and explore emotions or dream away with fiction and explore new worlds. Or if you want to learn something new, there’s always a wealth of knowledge to be found in non-fiction pieces. Whether you’re looking for inspiration, adventure or knowledge, perusing is the perfect way to get away from the external world.

Writing:

Writing is a powerful tool for self-expression and creativity, as it engages multiple areas of the brain. Over time, the more you write, the more neural connections you form and thus, the more you learn to communicate clearly, be more productive, make better decisions and ultimately be happier. It’s an amazing way to get in touch with yourself and tap into your creative potential. So why not give writing a try? You’ll discover amazing insights into yourself and how to express your thoughts and feelings more effectively.

Cooking:

Preparing food can be an incredibly rewarding experience to have by yourself and a fun way to take a break from the everyday routine. It’s also a fantastic opportunity to get creative in the kitchen exploring new recipes and international cuisine. The satisfaction of creating a delicious meal that can be shared with friends or family is truly worthwhile. Cooking is the perfect way to relax, express yourself, and learn something new!

Gardening:

Working in the garden is not only a great way to get some exercise, but it can also be really good for your heart and soul! Interacting with the natural world has been proven to reduce stress and increase feelings of self-esteem. Planting a flower or mowing the lawn, simply being out in nature can make you feel more connected to the world around you. As you nurture your plants and watch them grow, it can make you feel accomplished and provide a sense of achievement.

Practices For Harnessing Solitude

If you want to make the most of your alone time, it’s a good idea to establish certain habits and keep up with them. Here are some practices for harnessing solitude:

Create Boundaries:

Establishing healthy boundaries is key to taking good care of yourself and having high self-esteem and self-respect. By setting time limits and specific activities to do while alone, you are able to separate your needs, thoughts, feelings, and desires from those of others. This helps ensure that you are not overwhelmed with the wants of others and instead take responsibility for yourself. Making sure to stick to these boundaries will empower you to make healthy decisions and prioritize your wellbeing.

Be Present:

When we focus on being in the present moment, simple pleasures emerge from the experience. It’s not about being wrapped up in worry or to-do lists but rather taking the time to appreciate what you have right now. When you stay in the moment and concentrate on your thoughts and feelings you become more effective in dealing with life. You start to recognize that this present moment is where all the possibilities and joys are for you.

Be Patient and Kind:

It can take a while to adjust to being alone and that’s ok. Self-compassion is important when navigating through this process; believe in yourself and allow yourself the time it takes to heal and really step into your power. Having patience with ourselves allows us to have faith in our own abilities; it strengthens our resolve and gives us the energy we need to recover. Everyone has their own journey, take the time you need to move through yours and be kind to yourself along the way.

Tips for Making the Most of Alone Time

If you want to make the most of your alone time, it is beneficial to cultivate certain routines and behaviors. Here are some tips for making the most of alone time:

Set an Intention:

Before you start your alone time, take some extra time to set an intention. By setting an intention before you start, you can make the most out of your time alone. Whether it’s to relax or explore new ideas, having a clear purpose helps you focus and use this time to its full potential. Taking the initiative to decide how to best spend your free time will help ensure that you are making the most of it!

Prepare Ahead of Time:

Preparation is key in getting the most out of your alone time; take a few moments to write out your goals for the session, gather the materials you need, and set up your space. Consider running a warm bath and lighting some candles to create a more relaxed atmosphere. This will help you transition from the bustle of your day into a peaceful, calming environment that’s perfect for reflection and relaxation.

Be Flexible:

Being spontaneous is key to not feeling stuck in solitude. Circumstances are ever-changing and sometimes your plans won’t work out the way you expected them to. Thus, it is important to be flexible with yourself and not be afraid to change your alone time agenda. If you need to take a break or switch activities, don’t hesitate to do so. It’ll help you keep your momentum and stay motivated.

Let Go of Expectations:

We often put a lot of unnecessary pressure on ourselves. If we are able to let go of any expectations we have for our time alone and just let the process unfold naturally we can free ourselves from a lot of disappointment and stress. This way, we can enjoy the process more and relax into it. We have the power to choose how we want to respond and by doing so we can unlock our inner peace and enjoy our solitude.

Strategies for Overcoming Loneliness

It’s important to remember that loneliness and solitude are not the same thing. Loneliness is a feeling of isolation and emptiness, while solitude is a period of being alone and connecting with yourself. Here are some strategies for overcoming loneliness:

Connect with Others:

The positive effects of social connection on our mental health can be so strong that it can even increase our lifespans. Studies have indicated that those with more social connections had a greater mental health boost. And also experienced an increased quality of life. Therefore, it is essential to recognize the importance of social connection and make sure we make time to spend with friends and family. By neglecting our need to connect, we are putting our mental and physical well-being at risk.

Focus on Yourself:

Prioritizing your own needs and desires is essential for your self-discovery and growth. Notice your negative thoughts and replace them with positive ones. These small steps will help you make steady progress towards a more fulfilling life. And help you take control of your own destiny. Prioritizing yourself should be at the top of your list, so don’t forget to look after your own well-being!

Explore New Interests:

Overcoming your fears, discovering new talents, and increasing your adaptability are just a few of the many benefits of trying something new. By engaging your mind in activities such as enrolling in a course, participating in a group activity, or taking up a pastime, you can improve your memory, mood and motivation. Even if you feel like you don’t have the time or energy to try something new, it is worth taking the first step. You may find that the rewards are more than worth it!

Seek Professional Help:

Experiencing loneliness can be tough. Counselors can provide you with the support to manage your feelings and to figure out ways to cope with loneliness. Talking to a professional can help you understand why you feel lonely and how to better address the situation. They can give you tools and tips that will enable you to build relationships that are meaningful and lasting. A counselor can also provide companionship, so don’t be afraid to reach out. It could be the start of a journey towards feeling more connected and less alone.

Key Takeaways

Investing in yourself by taking some personal time to be alone with your thoughts can help you to understand yourself and your needs. And to gain insight into the decisions you make and the actions you take. It can help you to develop the confidence to be yourself and to make choices that are right for you.

When you’re alone with yourself, you can take the time to ask yourself questions and to be honest with the answers. This can give you valuable insight into how you’re feeling and what you’re thinking.

When you create opportunities to spend time alone, you can harness the power of solitude and discover what is important to you. Take the time to plan when and where you will take the time to be alone and unlock the potential of these moments.

The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.
Lao Tzu

Before you go

Thank you for taking the time to read this post. In our upcoming articles we will be exploring various aspects of being alone such as Solitude in the Winter, Solitude in Relationships, and Solitude in relation to Spirituality. If you haven’t yet, please Subscribe and spread the word to anyone who might be interested. There are share buttons in the sidebar.

If you have any ideas for topics related to Solitude, feel free to reach out to me through the contact page or leave a comment. There is a new page on the site; Breathe – simple calming practices to help you begin your time in solitude.

Enjoy your time alone! With love, Gael

Written on the Shoshone-Bannock Ancestral Lands in Eastern Idaho

Header Image by Cindy Lever from Pixabay

Finding Solitude Amidst the Chaos: How to Make Time for Yourself in a Busy World

January 7, 2023 / Gael MacLean

Mountains Sun Clouds Peak Summit Sea Of Clouds Solitude Reflection Peace Alone

Solitude is a way of being with our self. It is a place of refuge where we can gather ourselves and move closer to that which is essential and true.
Stephen Cope

Solitude vs. Chaos

How do we find solitude amidst the chaos? In this day and age of hustle and bustle, it is all too easy to be overwhelmed by our everyday lives and the never-ending stream of obligations and technology. This can leave us exhausted and overwhelmed. With so much vying for our attention, it can be difficult to find moments of peacefulness.

Taking a bit of time for ourselves, however, can be a great way to restore balance and reduce the pressure of daily life. When we take that time for ourselves, it can increase our awareness and help us to create a better relationship with ourselves. It also gives us the opportunity to recognize when we need a break and have time for reflection, prayer, and meditation. This can assist us in effectively managing our emotions and in dealing with challenging situations.

What is Solitude and Why is it Important?

Spending time alone can be an incredibly healthy and beneficial thing if you make it intentional. Taking moments to yourself and detaching from the world around you can be important for personal reflection, rejuvenation, and getting back in touch with you. But being alone doesn’t always mean physical isolation; it’s also about changing how you think about solitude and looking at it from a positive angle. It can help to set aside time every day dedicated to yourself and do the things that make you happy.

Don’t forget to practice self-care and confidence-building techniques, like using positive affirmations. Also make sure to stay close to those who lift you up and make it easier to stay positive. Lastly, solitude is important because it gives us a chance to really process life and look at our lives from a different perspective, enabling us to be more mindful and appreciative of what we have.

The Difference Between Solitude and Loneliness

It is essential to understand that being alone is not synonymous with being lonely, instead, it has its own set of advantages. Both solitude and loneliness can be experienced at the same time, although they are different. A sense of loneliness is felt when one does not have meaningful relationships with others, resulting in an empty feeling and yearning for companionship. Being in solitude, however, is an intentional decision to be by oneself. It does not have a negative connotation, but instead can be used to inspire and reinvigorate our minds.

It is important to understand that solitude is the condition of being alone without feeling lonely, while loneliness is the experience of being isolated and without company. Solitude can be a positive experience, allowing one to ponder, meditate, and enjoy their own company. While loneliness can be a painful emotion of disconnection, leading to depression and various health issues.

Benefits of Being Alone

Investing in some alone time can be extremely advantageous. It has been shown to diminish stress and tension and encourage creativity. And this quiet time can help to realign your values and give you an opportunity to contemplate and study past encounters with greater insight allowing you to prioritize and identify your goals.

Solitude can help to clear your mind, enabling deeper reflection and improved concentration. It can help you to get to know yourself more, strengthening your self-identity and recognizing your needs. Being alone can lead to healthier relationships with others by enabling you to be comfortable with yourself and make well-informed decisions regarding the people in your life. Moreover, it can assist in honing your problem-solving and creative skills.

Finding Time for Yourself in a Busy World

In a world that’s constantly demanding our attention, it can be difficult to find the time to be alone. But it’s important to prioritize this time and make it a part of your daily routine. Here are some practical tips for creating moments of solitude amidst the chaos:

Create a space that’s just for you:

This could be a corner of your bedroom, a spot in your living room, or even a chair in the backyard. Having a dedicated space to retreat to can help you feel more connected to this time of solitude and step back from the chaos.

Set aside time each day to be alone:

This could be as little as 10 minutes or as long as an hour. The important thing is to make sure you’re carving out this time for yourself. Doing something that brings you joy can help you relax and enjoy your time alone. This could include reading, writing, drawing, painting, or any other creative activity.

Unplug from technology:

Technology has become an essential part of our daily lives, but it can also make it difficult to find time to be alone. If you’re struggling to find time for solitude, you may want to unplug from all technology for a set time. Disconnecting from the internet and social media will help you to focus on yourself and appreciate the present moment. Set aside a specific time each day where you turn off all electronics and allow yourself to just be.

Take a solo trip to a place you’ve always wanted to visit:

Traveling alone to explore an unfamiliar place will allow you to experience it from a different perspective. Find the joy in solitude through unique exploration and connecting with people in a new and deeper way.

Go on a hike and take some time to reflect and appreciate nature:

Spending time in nature has been shown to reduce anxiety, improve mood, and reduce stress and negative emotions, such as anger and sadness. As you walk, take some time to reflect on your thoughts and feelings. Really see the beauty of nature and find your sense of peace in it and in yourself.

Spend an afternoon at the beach or park and take in the scenery:

Just sit and observe the wonders of nature. Take the time to fully appreciate all you see. Relax as best you can, let go of any thoughts that may be lingering in your mind, and enjoy the silence. Relaxing will help you find delight in solitude.

Making time for animals can be a great way to savor some love:

Animals don’t judge you and they accept you just the way you are. You don’t have to pretend to be someone else around them. Having a furry companion to accompany you or just to provide their undying affection is an amazing way to remind yourself of the unconditional love you are worthy of.

Exploring your personal reflections and emotions in a journal:

Journaling can be an excellent way to discover more about yourself. Allow yourself a moment to write down what you are feeling and thinking without being too hard on yourself – take the time to thoughtfully consider your own inner dialogue.

Invest some time in learning something that appeals to you:

Embrace being alone by engaging in activities that you find really fascinating. Aim to expand your knowledge, particularly regarding yourself, by taking a class or workshop that piques your interest.

Unearth pleasure in being alone by picking up a book or tuning into a podcast that fascinates you:

Feed your inquisitiveness by discovering a book or podcast that really stirs your interest. Curiosity can act as a balm, helping you gain a better understanding of yourself and the world around you.

How to Enjoy and Make the Most of Your Time Alone

Once you’ve set aside the time and found the space to be alone, it’s important to make the most of this time. Here are some tips for finding joy in solitude:

Focus on your breath:

As you focus on your breath, notice the physical sensations in your body as you inhale and exhale. Allow yourself to take deep, slow breaths and feel each breath move through your body. Be in the moment and focus on what is happening right now. Being in the present moment will help relax your body and mind.

Practice Gratitude:

Make time to feel grateful for the people and things in your life. From your family and friends, to the magnificence of the outdoors or the little things that make life enjoyable. Allow yourself to relish these moments of appreciation and delight.

Do Something That Brings You Peace:

Find the time to do something that makes you feel content and happy. This can be anything from reading a book, listening to music, going for a stroll, or doing anything that gives you a sense of tranquility.

Prioritize looking after yourself to find space for solitude:

This includes obtaining adequate rest and having a healthy diet. As well, you should steer away from drugs and alcohol, for if you use them to manage your stress, you may find yourself less willing to make time for you. If you’re struggling with any addictions, it might be a good idea to get professional help so that you can prioritize self-care.

Let Go of Expectations:

Release any preconceived ideas of what you should be doing when you’re alone. Don’t judge yourself and simply cherish the moment for what it is, free of criticism or worries. The goal is to take pleasure in the present without any preconceptions.

Dispelling the Fear of Being Alone

For some, being by oneself can be daunting. We can feel anxious when faced with our own thoughts and emotions. We may fear that if we’re alone, we’ll be listless or isolated. But it’s essential to keep in mind that having some time to yourself doesn’t have to be an undesirable thing. It can be a time for self-reflection, relaxation, and even personal growth.

To help lessen the apprehension of being alone, it is important to take a few moments to reflect on your fears and comprehend that they are oftentimes unfounded. Writing in a journal can be a great way to unveil and process your concerns. It can likewise be beneficial to ask yourself whether your worries are valid, accurate and constructive. Additionally, strategies to cope with feeling lonely include accepting loneliness, avoiding unhealthy relationships, socializing with new people, and speaking to someone you trust.

Finding a Balance Between Solitude and Connecting With Others

Balancing alone time with connecting with others can be tricky, but there are certain strategies to manage. For example, let your friends in on what you need and be honest about when you can and cannot spend time with them or chat. You can also plan activities with friends on a timetable that allows you to pause and have some time for yourself before and after being social.

It is useful to prioritize tasks, establish boundaries, and say no to activities that do not bring you happiness or are taxing. Additionally, if you experience exhaustion from being around too many people, make sure to take a break, do things that make you feel good, and don’t feel guilty for needing a rest from socializing. We all require meaningful connections with others to feel content, and we also need to connect with ourselves.

Key Takeaways – Benefits of Embracing Solitude

Spending time alone can be a great way to get in touch with yourself, but it is important to distinguish it from loneliness. It’s easy to mix up solitude and loneliness, but they are two distinctly different concepts.

Choosing to be alone can offer us a range of advantages, such as lowering our stress levels, aiding concentration, and boosting creativity. Moreover, it can help us become more conscious of ourselves and gain a better understanding of who we are.

While it is beneficial to have time to ourselves, we must be mindful of when loneliness is beginning to damage our wellbeing. If we sense ourselves feeling disconnected from the world around us, we should look for help.